To write is to bleed.

To write is to become vulnerable,
to surrender our bare souls to the page.
Our flesh and blood:
a sign of existence.

So bleed,
it is proof that you are alive.


I’m going back to writing,

And for a while now, I’ve been working on this small project called Of Death. Since, you know, seeing as I write about death a lot anyways.

It’s essentially a novella (maybe, I have no idea how long it’ll be yet, probably won’t even reach novella standards) that, in the first part, describes short stories (very short, we’re not even talking one A4 page long here) of varying experiences of death. These are all different from each other and they feel quite episodic in nature, but it is quite depressing too. I haven’t posted a lot of the short stories that I’ve included of Of Death, but I did include Hopelessness, seeing as they were one theme anyways.

The second part of the novella consists of a guy who narrowly escapes death, but in doing so, a lot of the people around him die in his stead. A lot like Final Destination now that I think about it, well there’s no vision or premonition about deaths though. It’s also not as if death is chasing him but more of luring him until he fucks up kinda thing.

My writing style for this can be said as really, really unrealistic, as in high on LSD. To be honest, I don’t know how to describe it, because it’s not anything ‘normal’, it’s not like it’s above average but it’s ‘weird’. Like I’m describing scenes differently than I should do. It’s probably a hit-or-miss, but I feel it works for the theme of the novella, and I’m really enjoying experimenting with it.

I would love love love having someone or a group of people I could write with, because I will be busy during he whole of November so NaNoWriMo is out of the question. If anyone is interested, please do comment or send me a message. I would just love having someone to write it and I love reading what other people have written too. I also have no idea if I’ll publish this since it’s a novella, but I’ll think about that once I’m almost finished with it (editing included).

Other than that, I may post a couple of chapters once I feel like I’m getting some progress into it. It’s going slow, and although I’m up to part two, I have no idea where it’s going and what I’m going to do with it. I will probably update on this regularly though, so keep an eye out!

To actually get back into writing,

I’ll be doing writing prompts for thirty days, and hopefully once those thirty days are over, I will continue on to do another thirty days, and so forth.

I won’t be doing a novel-length story (at least, not yet). I mean I’ve done those in the past, but so far I haven’t really completed any of them (well I have finished one, but I haven’t edited it yet and it really needs editing).

There’s no one writing prompt list that I like, to be honest, so I’m just going to jump around between writing prompts each day. And also because I’ve missed like five days, I’ll write five for today, and then continue on with one each day afterwards.

I need a few writer friends

Does anyone know where I might find some, like a community or a website for writers aside from NaNoWriMo (because that site is only during specific months, I’d like an all-year thing).

I feel I just need some people who I can share what I write with, and have others share what they’ve written with me too. I’ve only had two friends who’ve done that in my entire life so far, so I feel like I need more now to motivate myself into writing more too.

Or if anyone’s up for making a whole new writing group with me, that would be fun! Ask your friends and share the word! I’d love to meet new writers 🙂

Why I Didn’t Participate in NaNoWriMo

The first time I participated was November 2013. Yeah, not much to say about that. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t lose or anything that I didn’t join this year out of spite. I did win, hell, I went over the limit a bit. If I’m not mistaken, I got to 60-70k before the end of the month.

How did I get to that? Simple.

You type like a madman.

But this post isn’t really about motivating others or tips on how to succeed (you just got one, that counts). It’s about what happened to me afterwards.

Yes it felt great to cross the finish line days before the due date. I was thrilled, “Look at me guys, I won!” But afterwards, I just stopped, confused, a deer in the headlights.

It’s not about how I didn’t understand how to edit or how to get it published; there are tons of guides written about exactly that. It was more of steam. I ran out of steam.

When NaNoWriMo ended, I was far from even finishing the storyline of the novel. Maybe that’s why, after a gruelling one month, I just stared at the words with really no affection.

You know when you see your writing, you imagine finishing and then all the fame you’re going to get once you publish that book. People are going to look at you in awe and say, “Wow, you’re a published author!” Then you’ll travel to hold book signings and maybe move into a castle like J.K. Rowling.

When I stared at my manuscript, I didn’t feel any of that. There was no love, no thrill, none of that which I felt when I first started. I can’t rekindle that love, I couldn’t force myself to continue writing any longer. So I stopped. 60,000 words gone down the drain.

I’m not saying that NaNoWriMo is bad, good for you if you’re taking on the challenge.

I’m saying that maybe, I’m not cut out to be an author.