I’ve recently become feminine,

Which makes me sound as if I was a manly, masculine monster until a second ago, but never mind that.

For most of my childhood, I was a very tomboyish kid. I used to love Pokemon and Digimon, I would have lots of stuffed toys or figurines of them (my parents bought me Barbie because I thought I would like it, but in the end I used Barbie as the evil sorceress of an imaginary game I played with all of my figurines). I’ve been an avid gamer throughout my life (still am) and I’ve never gotten into the fashion/hot guys/make up craze, even in high school.

A lot of friends knew me as that tomboyish person, and because of that, I felt as if I had a reputation to uphold. I abhorred dresses and anything feminine-related, because it wouldn’t fit my style, and also because I thought I would look bad in it. I was also afraid that people would think of me as weird if I suddenly showed up in a skirt or a dress, and would think I look bad in it or something like that.

But in the end, I kind of realised that I have actually been wanting to dress up once I have grown up. I have caught myself slyly peeking at fashion magazines, just seeing the cute and beautiful outfits that others seem to fit so perfectly well. Sometimes I would imagine what I would look in them, and only then I realised that I shouldn’t run away from what I really wanted to do: learn how to become more feminine.

I’ve been taking small steps towards this, such as playing with my hair in different styles and trying to dress up just a tiny bit each day (with scarves or something like that). I haven’t touched make up yet, but one day I will.

I know a few girls don’t actually feel feminine even once they grow up, my cousin always wears a tuxedo to formal events instead of a dress and she’s fine with it. But for those who do repress it, embrace it instead. You’ll feel much better about it and I felt much more confident knowing that I could wear skirts and dresses too.

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6 thoughts on “I’ve recently become feminine,

  1. Parts of this sounded extremely familiar. I used to be a tomboy (on the outside at least — on the inside I’ve always loved Barbie and Disney princess films for example :P) but a few years back I noticed I wanted to be more feminine. I was afraid of how people would react and even though I’ve slowly dared to use dresses and skirts (and I love them!), I still feel weird about make-up and dressing up “too pretty.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anna says:

    I went through the same thing with a few differences (like being a Militant Radical Feminist and rather Misogynist). But I know exactly how you feel, hun. Keep your chin up, and wherever you decide to go with yourself know that you’re lovely~!

    Liked by 1 person

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