As some of you may know, I’m actually human. Yes I know, wow, I have the same feelings and emotions as all of you!
Because I’m human, I have issues and anxieties too. To be more specific, I have a bit of social anxiety. I feel highly uncomfortable if I feel as if I don’t fit in, or if I’m acting a bit weird, when I’m more likely exaggerating that feeling of “not fitting in”.
I’ve tried a lot of things to erase that little voice of doubt in my head. I’ve tried to reason with it, only to have the voice bite back. I would feel even worse, or at the very least, not make me feel any better.
The voice is just a big, mean bully ):
But over time, I’ve found that there is a way to quell the doubt. You’ve just got to be louder than the voice, that’s all, and you’ve got to have a mantra.
My mantra, simple enough, is “fuck it.”
If I was religious, I would have said that this is my personal prayer. I just repeat it, over and over, with a loud voice.
I’m standing here looking weird but, fuck it, these strangers don’t know me.
I don’t want to bother my friends but, fuck it, this needs to be done.
I’m afraid I’m going to be a laughingstock but, FUCK IT. I’m going to only live once and if I don’t do this, I’m going to regret it.
And oddly enough, if I say it in my head loud enough, it works. Not only does the voice of doubt get silenced, I also get worked up and angry. Now this is good, it supresses the nerves in favor for the anger so I don’t feel uncomfortable anymore. After that, in that state of anger, I wouldn’t care if people saw me as weird or not. I would be alright with it.
This probably isn’t a catch-all strategy for everyone. There are also times when it still fails, sure, but it’s a working theory that’s slowly growing in power.
So if you ever feel awkward, just try it out. Scream it and you’d feel better.
Not out loud, of course, or people really are going to stare at you.