Fuck Anxiety.

As some of you may know, I’m actually human. Yes I know, wow, I have the same feelings and emotions as all of you!

Because I’m human, I have issues and anxieties too. To be more specific, I have a bit of social anxiety. I feel highly uncomfortable if I feel as if I don’t fit in, or if I’m acting a bit weird, when I’m more likely exaggerating that feeling of “not fitting in”.

I’ve tried a lot of things to erase that little voice of doubt in my head. I’ve tried to reason with it, only to have the voice bite back. I would feel even worse, or at the very least, not make me feel any better.

The voice is just a big, mean bully ):

But over time, I’ve found that there is a way to quell the doubt. You’ve just got to be louder than the voice, that’s all, and you’ve got to have a mantra.

My mantra, simple enough, is “fuck it.”

If I was religious, I would have said that this is my personal prayer. I just repeat it, over and over, with a loud voice.

I’m standing here looking weird but, fuck it, these strangers don’t know me.

I don’t want to bother my friends but, fuck it, this needs to be done.

I’m afraid I’m going to be a laughingstock but, FUCK IT. I’m going to only live once and if I don’t do this, I’m going to regret it.

And oddly enough, if I say it in my head loud enough, it works. Not only does the voice of doubt get silenced, I also get worked up and angry. Now this is good, it supresses the nerves in favor for the anger so I don’t feel uncomfortable anymore. After that, in that state of anger, I wouldn’t care if people saw me as weird or not. I would be alright with it.

This probably isn’t a catch-all strategy for everyone. There are also times when it still fails, sure, but it’s a working theory that’s slowly growing in power.

So if you ever feel awkward, just try it out. Scream it and you’d feel better.

Not out loud, of course, or people really are going to stare at you.

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9 thoughts on “Fuck Anxiety.

  1. It sounds like you found a way to rid of your anxiety. It also sounds to me like you feel comfortable in your writer’s voice. You’re off to a good start. I used to have anxiety but when I got sick I had to learn how to talk to dozens of hospital staff professionals every day. Now anxiety doesn’t even cross my mind 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Glad to hear that you’re fine now! 🙂 And well, it’s still in the works, like I said, sometimes I still get anxiety anyways. Thank you for your kind words and I’m happy to know that you saw my writer’s voice 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have high anxiety as well, and at 30 years old I have finally adopted the mantra of “fuck it!”, but mines more like…”Umm…fuck it?” right now! I hope to be able to fully fall into this mantra and soar above my anxiety as you have!

    Like

  3. fitgeek42 says:

    As a rough around the edges approach, this is basically the way I live my life. I have high debilitating anxiety. It’s difficult for me to go to the store sometimes. In order to get through events, I have to remember to be true to myself.

    Like

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