I am a liar.

Will he be okay, they ask, will he?
“He’s found his way to God,”
but I don’t believe in God,
I don’t care for His existence.

“Strengthen your faith,” I say,
“Seek Him in your time of need.”
And they do, and they pray,
and I clasp my hands in pretend.

“Look at what the pastor is saying,”
I say and they look,
but I don’t hear the ramblings of the holy man.
Yet, I swear and I tell them, “Listen.”

But they cry,
and they doubt,
and they ask me, how will he fare
alone?

“He’s up in Heaven,
embraced by the angels,
in the arms of Mother Mary,
on the lap of Jesus Christ.”

So, oh questionable Lord,
forgive me now,
for I am a sinner
and a liar.

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8 thoughts on “I am a liar.

  1. I don’t know why this is so interesting. I’ve told people how much God loves them, how much grace He offers us each and everyday, but struggle believing it myself. We’re both liars, but Jesus still looks at us worthy to hold His hand. He looks at us with grace and understanding. He forgives us, we need to forgive ourselves. Jesus defies everything our world’s idea of seeing is believing. I have been wrestling with this childish idea of Him coming out of the sky and sitting down beside mw. Is that crazy? I think so. But He says: For we live by faith, not by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7) And, Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? (Romans 8:23-24)

    It’s terrifying to place my hope in what I can’t see, or what I think Jesus should look like. But, I can’t help believe He’ll keep fixing our eyes on Him, to see we don’t have to try. We’ll fall apart again and again, but He’ll be right beside us unconditionally casting out the fear. Gently and personally overcoming our unbelief.

    Don’t know why I feel I had to tell you all that, but if you think I’m crazy, it’s okay. Haha. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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