I find it kind of funny that my grandmother and my aunt would openly fight even though I’m just sitting right there, on the dining table. My grandmother had just heated up a sort of traditional pastry for me and I was eating it while they just continued to fight. I’m sure that if it had been a commercial of some sort where this apathetic kid was just minding their own business while two adults fight, it would have looked funny, but to me right now, it’s not very funny at all. In fact it had felt more tense, perhaps more than usual.

It was a trivial matter, even then. My grandmother had been watching TV and she saw some news about Taiwan and mentioned it to my aunt, telling her to be careful because it was a similar situation. My aunt retaliated saying that we weren’t in Taiwan so it wouldn’t matter to us, but the tone that she carried that was much more hostile than it should be. Out of habit because her family had always been a bit loud, my grandmother shouted and the fight began back and forth. If I had been looking at an outsider’s perspective, the fight would have looked childish, but for me it’s just… 

I don’t know.

Maybe it’s just me. Ever since I was a kid, my dad and aunt and my grandma (yes, it’s either a 2v1 match or a free-for-all lol) have been fighting, sometimes for trivial reasons and sometimes for kind of important reasons and sometimes just because of misunderstandings. They’re all also particularly loud, and I’m a pretty submissive person, so I think the worst whenever they use ‘that’ specific tone of voice.

But it’s not always just me, even my mom says that the way my dad and aunt treat my grandma is disrespectful. She’s also repeatedly told my dad to lower it, and perhaps it has gotten slightly better, but not the best. They still fight repeatedly, the three of them. Especially since the relationship between my dad and my aunt isn’t the best either, in fact it’s probably the worst that I’ve seen considering sibling relationships. They never talk to each other (if they do, then it’d probably in condescending tones), so if one wants to tell something to the other, my grandma would be the intermediary. It’s… Awful, to say the least. I have a brother, and though we fight a lot, I cannot imagine not talking to him my entire life. Apparently, my dad and aunt hasn’t been talking since fifth grade, and now they’re in their late forties. That is a long time.

My mom has been criticizing the way that my grandmother has brought up her children, and I don’t disagree with her. My grandmother is and has always been afraid that she would get hated by her children, and thus never scolds them if they do something wrong. This eventually grew into the disrespect that my dad and aunt harbor for my grandmother, and for both of them as well.

I do wish to be able to turn it all around, but again, I’m a submissive person. And I’m a coward. There, I said it. I don’t dare to go against my grandmother and my aunt and my dad, especially because I’m not of equal level or standing with them. The only adult who speaks reason is my mom, and it’s only through her that I can hope she would hopefully turn this situation for the better.

It’s also sad to think about, because my grandmother is old. Yeah, well obviously she’s old, but the older I grow, the more that I think my grandmother’s life would end soon. It’s a hugely morbid topic, and I do hope it’s not anytime soon, but… It’s inevitable, isn’t it? The sad thing is that I don’t even know when, no one knows. Sure my grandmother is really strong and active, perhaps stronger than I am, but I can’t just push aside the thought.

Anyways, I don’t really want to jinx this topic any further so I’ll just end it off here.


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